That's what I said as I dropped the kids off this morning at the neighbor's house to catch the bus. I yelled, it was a tough morning but who am I kidding, most mornings alone are tough.
As I drove into to work, I started to think about all the "types" of moms out there and their parenting styles. Then I started to ask myself..."Do I have a parenting style?" I believe that I parent with no rhyme or reason, without labels or philosophies.
But, let's take it back to a time long, long, ago. When yours truly was pregnant (with one child). Back then, I told myself that I would NEVER raise my voice at my kids or listen to the radio while they are in the car or ever dare to order McDonald's for dinner. Oh to be young and naive. Now, we listen to Lizzo and I tell them to "bleep" the bad words out and thank God there is McDonald's to save me on those days there's no dinner on the table.
So why do we often feel a sense of guilt when we have to resort to these measures? Well, I have a few thoughts on this:
I think social media has ruined this for us! Now that our lives are broadcast on the World Wide Web, it is hard to not feel that judgement coming through our electronic devises. If you follow me on Facebook than you know I have a love-hate relationship with social media. AND you are probably thinking that I am being such a hypocrite since I've started blogging but it's not that I don't love seeing your family photos or that I don't want to hear about your amazing vacations..that's not it at all. My issue is that people hide behind it, mostly because they are afraid of being judged. But for what?
I am telling you now that I yell at my kids and you can judge me all you want. But you also know how much I love my kids and I do have high standards for them. Could there be a better way, probably. All I know is that this works for my family. I don't believe there is a right or wrong way but I do know if we don't find a way that works for our children, we are only setting them up for failure.
I am seeing everyday, how many kids are growing up without discipline and what that is doing to them as human beings. Not to mention the young adults coming out of college now who believe that they don't have to work in order to achieve success, mommy and daddy will just help me out. It's an entitlement problem. Let me tell you right now, those will not be my kids!
Everyday, when I have a moment to stop and reflect on my day, I find things I regret or things I wish I would have done differently. I think that self-awareness is what makes us want to be great parents. It's not only about the good moments, it's also those rough, unbearable, "when will this day end" moments that make us re-evaluate, and move on and try to be our best the next time.
What's even more important is having that support that allows you to know you are not alone, I have so many friends who feel the same exact way. I routinely have conversations with my friends about how hard it is to be a parent. It's not all rainbows and butterflies. It's some yelling and crying, among many, many other emotions.
So let's just be honest. Sympathy and understanding goes a long way. What I am really trying to say is stop worrying about what other people think or post on social media. I am going to try to be the best parent I can be even if sometimes (or many times) I have to be a mean parent.
Till next time,
Deena
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